she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
