WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
