Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
is it fun? or sober?
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