This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
