They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
