But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
