i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
