I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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