two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
