i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
