Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass