so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!