If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
