Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving