can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm