My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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