I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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