Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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