So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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