I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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