Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
