Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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