Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
