She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
