Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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