Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
