I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
