he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
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