I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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