just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize