They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
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