Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
