Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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