me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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