I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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