I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
