that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
