Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
