By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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