Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
