Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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