ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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