Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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