maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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