My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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