I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
