I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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