We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
All I want is dick and wine.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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