I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
