i already hear my dad disowning me
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
