My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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