My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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