I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
