I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
