By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize