I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
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i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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