I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
