i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
