do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
