i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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