I'm so fucking centered right now
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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