fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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