Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
