12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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