oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
