Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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