i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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