You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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